It was deep down in my heart, this struggle of pain and unforgiveness.
I had said the words many times, “I forgive you.” But my head and heart did not agree.
The heart is complex: in one moment, feelings of intense emotions cause tears to spill from my tired eyes.
I can wake up with joy and by mid morning, I struggle with thoughts of anger toward someone.
The heart is full of emotions and if I am not careful this heart of mine can be the very thing that causes me to make some really bad decisions.
There are many sayings that tell us to follow our heart.
But Jeremiah 17:9 says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?”
Only God can know what truly goes on in your heart and mine.
We can fool the world and sadly we can fool ourselves into thinking our heart is good.
When I pray Psalm 139:23 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
God then takes the opportunity to show me the things he is not pleased with.
As the spotlight of his truth began to shine into the dark places of my heart, I could see clearly my sins of unforgiveness and bitterness sitting at the bottom of my soul.
Roots of bitterness take hold in our hearts and they begin to grow and like most roots they grow deeper and deeper into the darkness.
God showed me the deep seeded sins that were lurking in my heart.
Blame and sarcasm sprung from my lips. I had tried to justify my sins. I had made attempts to explain that I had already forgiven that person.
But my true heart could no longer stand under the light of truth without bowing my knees in repentance.
Matthew 15:18 says, ” But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.”
Let your speech be a clue of what is in your heart.
If your words are full of sarcasm, have a sharp tone or a hostile jab you might want to consider the condition of it.
People might think you’re just joking or being funny but in light of God’s truth something is going on in your heart and it needs to be addressed.
When I have allowed God to work in my heart and I have come to a place of repentance, It is there that I surrender and I am able to walk in love toward the person who has hurt me.
It begins with the heart. You must allow God to search it, to find the things that are not good and then you must repent and surrender, letting go of everything so that your heart can be free to love again.
So what’s the condition of your heart?
Praying for you today,