In the course of sharing the story of our marriage, Tony and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary on August 3rd.
It was simple and quiet, I sat across from him at dinner like I had done so many times before.
Some of the hurt still lingers deep in my heart.
But in that moment I understood, It was God’s grace that covered us everyday through all these years.
I choose to trust God to continue to heal my heart.
It’s easy for my old self to creep back in. The past pushes up against my thoughts and I quickly remember the pain.
The decisions I make everyday plays a part in the battle. I will either be victorious or remain broken.
I can choose to use the truth of God’s word to fight those battles or I can get caught up in the pain of my past and allow the fears to consume me to the point of destruction.
I believe in the power of prayer to change the worst of circumstances and I know for sure that my God uses all things to work out for my good, that’s his promise to me.
So while the enemy taunts me into thinking the worst, I battle through and trust God for his best.
I’m not the same girl I was all those years ago. Struggling to take off the masks of insecurity and shame and learning to walk in God’s truth, which continues to give me freedom.
The places that I needed to be loved deeply, came from God alone.
I still have days when fear grips my thoughts and I remind myself, it is written.
1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.”
God’s love for me is without flaw, that gives me the strength to rise up out of my fears and allow his peace to consume me, the choice is mine.
No longer can I sit in fear with fingers crossed hoping things will turn out okay. I must make decisions that are selfless and godly, not perfect. It’s about loving the other person, the way God loves me.
This story doesn’t end with happily ever after.
But in truth, I am learning what true love is. 1 Corinthians 13 (The message)
” Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on another, isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of the other, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with things and trust God always, looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.
” Love never dies. ”
We are in the middle of our life and we don’t know if either of us will be here tomorrow, but for today I want to live in a way that honors God, Tony, and my kids.
I came from such brokenness, I had no idea how to make a happy home or how to love without conditions.
With all of my faults and failures, it didn’t end there because of the hope in Christ Jesus.
So make no mistake in thinking that your circumstances define who you are. If you’re struggling in your marriage, going through a divorce, or single, the things you face are the things God wants to use to strengthen you.
Will you let him?
When I look at Tony through the eye’s of Jesus, I am never disappointed.
When I give up my rights and love him the way God tells me to, it’s everlasting.
God has the power to save your life, your marriage, and anything you are struggling with.
God will take your brokenness and make something beautiful.
God will fill you with His strength and courage to step into his best for you. He will empower you to stand against the lies of the enemy. Will you surrender your will for His plan? We serve a mighty God who is able to do more than you can imagine.
God, I thank you for loving us without conditions. I thank you that you never give up on us and you will rescue us out of our deepest troubles when we call to you. I pray for marriages everywhere, help them navigate their way back to you. Give them love for one another and strength to continue the journey. Empower them to run the race that you have set before them till the end. Thank you that you are the everlasting God who gives us hope for tomorrow. Father you reach out your hand to us to show us the way back to you, I pray for every person reading this that they will extend their hand back to you as you guide them through the struggles in their life and give them hope in Jesus name, Amen.
Thanks for reading, I hope you have been encouraged or have been able to share these stories with someone you know.
There Is Power In The Name Of Jesus.
Praying for you,