When you’re broken and filled with hopelessness, that is when you need
waterfalls of grace.
Only the grace of God can take your circumstances and begin to fill you with hope.
2 Corinthians 12:9 – Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
Our marriage displayed all of our weaknesses and instead of running to God who was more than willing and able to give us what we needed to go through the deep waters, we both looked to each other and began drowning in the sea of despair.
In the chaos of our lives and our focus on each other, we drifted apart with no anchor to hold us together.
The fearful broken me, was angry at the injustice done in my life with no voice to speak up. I wrestle day and night with my bitterness and unforgiveness.
The man I married didn’t know how to cope with things in his life. He found himself running aimlessly into a world of lies and deception until he spun out of control.
Who will save us from ourselves?
Romans 7:24-25 “Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God the answer is Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Sometimes in our greatest struggle our impulse is to give up.
But what if just beyond that moment, God was about to set you free?
Therapy, counseling, group sessions, retreats, all of it was good and helpful. But nothing changed us more than the choice we made to allow the Holy Spirit to come into the secret places of our lives as individuals and begin to work.
I had to choose everyday to take control of my emotions that were out of control. I needed God to reach into my bitter, angry heart and set me free. The toughest part was giving up my rights and choosing not to hold Tony or anyone else hostage for hurting me.
It took looking to the cross and realizing, Jesus’ blood covers all sin. He hung in innocence, for me. What would it benefit my life to withhold forgiveness from those who have hurt me, when it was Jesus’ blood that set me free.
I sat weeping in my struggle with a list of all Tony had done.
I was saying “Lord look at all of this.”
I heard the lord say, “It was for those things, I died.”
I didn’t just want Tony to say he was sorry, I wanted him to feel the hurt he had caused me.
But God showed me that my freedom didn’t depend on an apology from Tony or anyone else who hurt me. My freedom would come when I surrendered my rights, giving God permission to move in my life. He is the one who gives us the ability to forgive those who hurt us.
There is no magic in forgiving.
It is a choice.
The Bible is clear in 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Acts 3:19-20 “Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord.”
Listen carefully, Romans 5:8 says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”
How incredible is God, to love us while we were still wondering around in our sin. There is so much hope in that verse.
However, God only forgives a sinner if they repent.
It was when I took my eyes off of Tony that I saw my desperate need to be forgiven.
I came to Tony already hurt and carrying unforgiveness. When we said “I do” Tony had already been struggling to make sense of life and the lies he had been telling himself.
God used the things in our marriage to get us both to take a closer look at who we really were. It didn’t matter what our titles were or where we worked or who we knew. No longer could we maintain the outward appearance, trying desperately to conceal the unpleasant reality.
Our public facade masked our private anguish, but God was not fooled.
God sees you, right where you are.
I have learned to stand under his waterfall of grace every single day since.
I realize the things I war between are my flesh and my spirit. I want what I want yet my spirit cries to be more like Jesus. It’s in the surrender I am set free.
The road to healing made me aware of many things, especially my own brokenness.
The world around you looks at the outward appearance, but God sees your heart.
Your heart that is hurting, your heart that is broken, your heart that longs to be healed and made new.
Psalm 86:5-7 (NLT) “O Lord you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help. Listen closely to my prayer, O Lord; hear my urgent cry. I will call to you whenever I’m in trouble and you will answer me.”
If you find that you are in this place of such brokenness, I encourage you to cry out to” YAHWEH ROPHE” The Lord who heals.
Father God, I am crying out to you. I am broken and in need of your touch. I can’t do this life alone. You are not only my creator but my healer. Everything I have tried to do in my own strength has not made things better. Would you show me my heart and uncover any sins you find. Please forgive me Jesus. I believe you are the great healer of my soul and body. I ask that you would remove any bitterness within and make me clean. Would you show me how to live my life, transforming me in ways that will bring you glory, In Jesus name, Amen.
Standing Beneath His waterfalls of Grace.
Praying for you,